Mirrors

Jun. 14th, 2012 06:53 pm
bizoumorte: (Carmen)

It seemed far too early when I heard the gentle click and squeak of my door opening. I crushed my eyelids together denying light any access to my retinas as I felt a big hand gently grab my shoulder and shake me.

Me: Go away
The words hardly came out, my vocal cords could only respond dully from disuse.
Beckett: That’s hardly a way to greet your friend.
His voice was low and scratchy. He seemed to share my feelings about the coming day. I rolled away from him and buried myself in the thick comforter.  I heard him sigh as he positioned himself next to me on the bed. I could feel his feet stretch out far beyond mine. I remembered meeting him suddenly. He seemed to be nothing more than a shadow at the time. I remembered the way he looked at me, nearly corpse like. I never would have thought we would become so close. He disrupted my thoughts suddenly, digging his fingers past the blankets and into my sides. I flailed helplessly as he drew me closer. I erupted in laughter, the involuntary kind, and thrashed against my silent captor. He was much stronger then he let on. He let go of me suddenly and I rolled out of the bed as quickly as I could to avoid more tickling. I gasped for breath and held the edge of my shirt down, concealing myself as best as I could. With a sly smile he lifted himself noiselessly out of my bed and into the hall, his battle won.

When he shut the door I powered though dressing, tossing on a purple tank top and some old black jeans, and striped socks. I looked at myself in the mirror that hung above my dresser. I didn’t look as bad as usual. My Dark hair in tangles around my shoulders but not a total mess. I had dark circles under my green eyes. I rubbed at them and made my way through the hall and into the bathroom. I brushed my hair quickly, the tangled locks forming back into the typical waves. I took a last look at myself, my pale skin reflected the florescent light grossly in the bathroom. I shook my head and joined Beckett in the dining room. He had clearly done some work plundering my fridge as he was sitting idlyey eating some leftover pasta and having some of my favourite juice. I frowned deeply.
Me: Whoa buddy, that’s MY juice.
I leaned forward quickly and took the glass away from in front of him. He looked up at me from under his eyelashes.
Beckett: That’s hardly a way to treat your guest.
His voice was smooth and coy. He looked back down at his pasta and continued eating. I shrugged and  took a long drink from the half empty glass of citrus juice and sat down across from him.
Me: So whats the plan for today then?
I twiddled my thumbs idly waiting for him answer. He looked deeply into the plastic Tupperware container as he spoke
Beckett: Well the idea was that you needed help with your math assignments, right?
I nodded quickly. Noise was building up in the back of my head. I wasn’t one to usually ask for help, so this was a bigger deal for me than I think Beckett realized. I was startled by the sound of his chair squealing against the cheap tiles as he passed into the kitchen and deposited the container into the sink.
Beckett: Well then, we'll go to the store, pick up some junk, come back here, I'll help you with the work, and you'll repay me with cookies and sexual favours. OK?
I slitted my eyes at him in exaggerated disdain.
Me: At this time I can only offer cookies. The sexual favours deal ended as soon as you came into this equation.
He jutted him lower lip out and whimpered playfully, only till I flung my arm into his shoulder. He recoiled and rubbed his shoulder, in an exaggerated display of pain.
Beckett: You really aren’t good with guests are you?
Me: Your not a guest, if anything you broke the law by inviting yourself in.
He stuck his tongue out at me.
Beckett: If its not locked its begging to be entered.
Me: You've been playing too much Thief again haven’t you.
He nodded enthusiasticly.
Me: that reminds me, you need to give me the discs back for it, I want them to stay in one piece.
He pouted again before crossing his arms and showing himself to the door. I followed close behind, grabbing my keys off the coffee table as we passed through the living room. Beckett plopped himself down beside my door and was cramming his feet into some boots. An old pair of doc martins, he had had them for years apparently. I couldn’t imagine anything lasting that long in his possession. I shoved my own feet into some mud crusted sneakers, recalling amusedly how they came to be in such abysmal condition. weekends of trudging through mud, chasing after frogs with Beckett. Last summer... I shook my head to erase the thoughts. It was a simpler time, before my second run in the Asylum. I shuddered at the thought of that place. The first time around I had Beckett but the second time... It was like hell. A living breathing hell....

The icy concrete floor seemed nearly welcoming in the dim light. I figured it must be evening now, hearing the rustling of feet outside my door. The dinner rush. I pushed myself to a sitting position, everything seemed greyer than usual. It was like someone had sucked the colour out of the place. I remember a nurse saying something about the paint, dull colours for dulling the patients. My stomach felt empty but not in a manner that made me want to eat. This would be the second day without food. I wanted to escape, to return to my home, to return to My Brother and sister, and Beckett. Beckett... I sighed. I wished that he were here like before, slipping little notes under my door, making me feel hope in a place in the shadow of the rest of the world. We would spend so much time together, and after we were released into our homes, all the adventuring that took place that summer. I almost smiled until I realized this wasn’t the past. I stared ahead of me, the drugs were working better now, they had adjusted my dosages of antipshycotics since my outburst. I heard a rustle at the door and saw a tiny slip of paper pass under the frame. I crawled over to it on my hands and knees and carefully unfolded the little piece of lined paper. I heard a nurse outside my door say something. 'Come along sir' I think. I looked down at the note and the corners of my mouth curled into the biggest smile in the world, my heart went crazy. 'Miss me?' is all the note said, scrawled in messy hand writing and red ink. I knew exactly what it meant. A visitor.

Beckett had begun tieing little knots in my hair while i was lost in thought. I blinked several times and turned my head slightly to face him.
Me: Sorry
Beckett: Did Alice just come back from wonderland?
I Nodded a little then stood, Beckett mirrored my action.
Beckett: Ready to go then?
Me: Of course!
I scoffed a little at his question jokingly and pushed open the door letting the harsh light hit my face...

bizoumorte: (Rose)

The sun beat down hard, and I didn’t have any sunscreen on, my pale skin could feel the heat pouring down on it. I was at the edge of a gravel trail, the road at my back and the winding trails laid out between harsh shadows and blinding sun. I walked along the side, closer to the shade, I didn’t want to be feeling the ignorance of my decision to not wear sunscreen later on. A tiny blue butterfly tumbled past in some strange dance, not aware of me and not caring either.

A buzzing started in the back of my head. I closed my eyes a moment and rubbed my eyes. I wouldn’t let anything keep me from one of few moments I had alone. I soon came upon a gate way, through it was a hill, and past that a graveyard. The buzzing in my head returned and I continued faster down the path, stuffed some headphones in my ears and hit play on my tiny, screen-less mp3. I stared ahead at bikers, dog walkers and joggers. I felt out of place, wandering down the trail without a destination or purpose. "Good lord it was a beautiful day, for untangling, unravelling, my heavy heart away.". Eventually I couldn’t recognize my surroundings, there were less and less passerby’s and I found myself to be more or less, alone. Your worthless. I grabbed both sides of my head and stopped walking. You should just fucking die alreadyI keeled down in the gravel and shook my head rapidly. I started pounding my forehead with my palms, murmuring to myself to stop. It felt like hours before the episode ended, I stood shakily and kept walking. I saw a shimmering in the corner or my eye and turned left to face it. A small lake was barely visible over a gentle hill. I immediately started up the hill. Once on top I could see it more clearly. It was attached to a golf course. I frowned at the thought of golf balls coating the bottom and scanned the edges of the lake for any docks. I suddenly saw a familiar mess of red hair on a precarious looking makeshift dock.
Me: "Beckett!"
The lanky boy turned slowly to face me and raised his hand in a small wave. I rushed down the other end of the hill and made my way to the little dock he was standing on.

Beckett: "Fancy seeing you round these parts miss"
Me: "Lets skip the formalities"
I wrapped my arms around him, and he hugged back softly.
Beckett: "I didn't think I would be seeing you so soon..."
Me: "me either"
I breathed softy into the wool of his sweater, he smelled like herbs and incense, dirt and a bit of sweat, then pulled away.
Me: "What ARE you doing here anyways?"
Beckett: "Well its hot and I figured I could swim or something..."
Me: "In those?"
I pointed to his sweater and jeans, wondering how he could even wear them in the heat. He looked down at himself and shrugged.
Beckett: "Clothes do come off right?"
I laughed softly at his nonchalance.
Me: "I suppose they do"
I looked down at the 'dock' he was standing on. It was no more than a shipping pallet and an old chair supporting each other. I grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him of it. The motion of his foot sent the pallet drifting off along the surface of the lake. Some golfers on the other end of the lake stared at us. Beckett looked at me slightly annoyed, but then turned to see what I was looking at. He stuck his tongue out at the golfers and 'flipped the bird' at them. they didn’t seem to react though. Beckett grabbed my arm and began leading me back to the gravel path. Another small butterfly danced pass as we went up the hill wordlessly.

I winced as the buzzing began again, louder this time, with traces of voices in among the sound. Beckett stopped me at the top of the hill and turned to me. he took my head in his hands and leaned all the way over, touching his forehead against mine.
Beckett: Its a noisy day for you too huh?"
I closed my eyes, remembering for a moment our past together, so many secrets shared between white walls. I nodded softly and opened my eyes again and found them staring into his. Golden and green all at once. I closed my eyes again and he stood straight again, I sighed a little as he did. He understood everything about me, and I understood almost nothing of him. He led me down the other end of the hill and onto the path.
Beckett: "Did you want me to walk you home?"
I nodded again and followed him down the path. We didn’t have to say anything to each other, there was a beauty to the silence we could have without it being awkward. At the end of the path he steered me left towards my house. He always did this, walk me home I mean. He worried to much since I lived on a rougher end of town. It was sweet of him but almost always seemed unnecessary. A group of boys came from around the corner, laughing and rough housing. Beckett grabbed my hand and held me near instinctively. I walked next to him and played with his fingers. They boys looked at me and whispered among each other. I recognized them from school and averted my eyes as we crossed a street. Once they were out of sight he let my hand go.
Me: "you don’t have to do stuff like that you know"
Beckett reached his hand into his pocket and produced a pack of cigarettes. He took one from the pack, lit it and took a long drag before answering.
Beckett: "I know you disagree. You'll understand in time im sure"
I frowned and looked up at him.
Me: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Beckett: "It means exactly that. You'll understand in time"
I sighed in defeat. I knew I couldn’t wrestle information out of him, its just not how he worked. He stopped at the end of my drive way and turned to me once more.
Beckett: Your accommodations, madame. "
Me: "Thanks Beckett, you didn’t have to do this"
He nodded and I started up the drive way. Suddenly he called out to me softly.
Beckett: "Hey, Ingrid?"
I stopped and faced him
Me: Yes?
Beckett: "Be safe tonight, I'll come for you tomorrow"
I nodded at him, and continued up the drive way, the sun setting behind me and the soft scrapping of his shoes fading till they were gone...

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